December 5th, 2011

[Misc] Shitty Weekend

The world is at its best, ya know, when people love and care

I am feeling so sluggish and unmotivated and uninspired.

I'm not even into Christmas this year. I'M ALSO SO, SO, SO INTO CHRISTMAS. I even have a tree and lights in my tiny apartment but it just makes me sad. Also, Pa hasn't gotten the ornaments out yet, so my tree is bare besides the lights :( boo hoo!

So, I'm trying to give Greg a shot. And I've already been scolded by most of the people who know about it, haha. I dunno. I told him that I would want to get back together because I love him and I'm committed to trying to make thigns workout, BUT since I haven't heard or felt the same sentiments from him, I need to know why he wants to get back together with me. I said that being in a relationship and having me around is very different - one requires more effort on his part than just inviting me over. I said that I need to feel appreciated and thought about. I said that because he's said he'd try before when he clearly didn't, I am very afraid of trying again and that I needed some kind of proof or a sign that he really means it this time. He asked me what that would be, and I told him that I a) have no idea myself and b) only he can tell/show me how he feels about and why he wants to be with me (although asking me to come to Texas with him for xmas would be a sure fire hit). I said that we can't get back together just because we were both sad, lonely, and uncomfortable for a week. He has to mean it. For realsies.

I started seasonal work at See's yesterday. ONCE YOU LEAVE RETAIL, YOU CAN NEVER FUCKING GO BACK TO RETAIL. I hated it, I was sooooo fucking stressed out all.the.time. Not even the free candy makes it worth it. BUT, I did just buy a $600 computer (that I'm already regretting), so, you know. Gotta make the money. It's only 5 more shifts.

IN HAPPIER NEWS. I hung out with my friend Carly, from those Kitchen Shop days, for the first time on Friday. IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE HER. And she lives like a 10 minute drive from me / SO CLOSE TO SUSHILAND.

Also, Leigh moved to Seattle :D She's about 3 fucking blocks away from my work, and totes a walking distance from my place! I'm so glad to be having friends SO CLOSE that you can just be like "hey, I'm bored. Wanna watch some netflix and eat some snacks?" and it happens. That's what I miss most about college. HAVING FRIENDS. (that you don't have to *make plans* with)

If only Matthew came back (stupid Army) and Abi moved back (stupid Oregon) then I would be in happy friend time ALL THE TIME.