meg (pokeymegchan) wrote,

Watched Toy Story 3 again. Cried again.

I had a sexy con dream. It really threw me off because I was with a brunette. Say whaaaat?! And he had adorable floppy hair. And somehow was staying in Stark's room, but Stark wasn't there. And Leigh got angry at me because we were sharing a room, but I got other people in the room (because I'm cheap) and then I didn't even stay in the room. But most importantly, it was sexy. Which makes me feel really weird.

JB Meg and Patrick were up in the are visiting internet friends this weekend. I got to have brunch with them before they headed back down to Oregon. It felt really good to see them :) I need to make a trip down to portland sometime to hang out with everyone.

Watched Leigh do stand up and she did so well! Makes me wanna try, haha.

Greg is. Welp. He's Greg. Finally on Saturday night (after finally seeing him Friday after Comedy and then hanging out with him all Saturday morning). I just kept crying and crying because he was acting like nothing happened/still distant and like he didn't want to talk to me. So I told him about how hurt my feelings were and how I took my birthday card and this amazing vacation we're theoretically going on as a sign that he had feelings for me that I HOPED he had. But then I just didn't understand when he kept pulling away and acted like he didn't want to talk to me and didn't care if I was in his life and how all I needed for him was just to say SOMETHING about what he was feeling and he couldn't do that. So I was just hurt and confused and didn't understand what was going on.

He didn't say anything. He huggeed me and kissed me and proceeded to be much more affection the rest of the night/Sunday and didn't say anything. So I want to believe that we're good, but I just don't understand how he can expect me to accept it as an answer?

So I left a note this morning saying that I hoped we were ok, but if we're not and if he has any worries about being in a relationship with me then I wanted to know now. I'd hate to go on a vacation that would melt my heart and make all my dreams come true only to come back to him pulling away from me again and nothing wanting to see me.

It would be waaaaay more heartbreaking than if he just ended things now. I want to believe he loves me when we stand in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle.

I have too many things everywhere!
I need to get organized for reals.

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