meg (pokeymegchan) wrote,

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What am I supposed to do when someone says "I think you might be my Leia.... or Mara Jade."


I ran away to Portland for the long weekend. Hung out with Abi and Cody for a couple days and then with FP, JB Meg, Lizzie (and the rest) Saturday night for FP's birthday. It was fun! I spent too much money and lazed around. And then spent more money on Cyber Monday. On myself. Like a whole desktop and three dresses and Star Wars Toys.

Buuuuut then I came back. And it was life as usual. Made a really cool friend. Which makes me feel awful. Because he likes me in *that way.* And I know, I know, I usually throw myself back into dating ridiculously quick and he's a suuuper cool hyper nerd with an adorable fauxhawk, but I can't this time. Even though I know that Greg and I couldn't work things out and it was as much of a mutual break up as anything, I'm not okay with it. I miss him too much and I second guess everything I've done, and every fucking thing reminds me of him. And I have no doubt that he doesn't even notice I'm gone...checking NeoGaf all day, playing video games and watching Netflix all night, doesn't mind going to bed or waking up alone. He meant a lot to me, but I can't shake the feeling that our relationship didn't mean that much to him. He might've spent money on me, but I wish he would've thought about me a little more instead...

It's only been a week. I shouldn't be okay yet. But I didn't think that I'd be *this bad.*

Appointment with David tomorrow...I hope he has some useful things to say about all this because I am currently at a loss.

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