[Disney] I'mma Fatty

Stop looking at me like that. It makes me uncomfortable.

Oh god you guys.

I'm learning how to ride a motorcycle. So far I've done two REAL rides (meaning out on the street with traffic and obeying riding laws and everything) that included terrifying highway riding. I survived, but it was SO STRESSFUL. Greg keeps pushing my limits because he knows that I *can* do things, but I just DON'T feel comfortable doing a lot of the stuff he expects me to do. I just gotta practice, practice, practice, I guess. It's really hard.

Went to PAX for the first time in forever. SO MANY NERDS. Crossed paths with a couple boys I dated which resulted in AWKWARD glances, got stealthily hit on by some nerds, played the TOR demo, and chatted a bit with one of the designers for TOR!! Pretty exciting, it actually makes me want to play video games.

Speaking of video games, I worked at Nintendo as a tester for a couple weeks. Why? Because I got fired from Caffe Appassionato (basically because Brooke hates me and is 13). BUT, I was only unemployed for one week before working at Nintendo. I even got to work on my dream project.

BUT I NO LONGER WORK AT NINTENDO. Because tomorrow (Monday) I'm starting a job as a legal clerk at a fancy-pants law firm downtown in the Columbia Center (tallest building in Seattle). I'm super nervous and I hate the clothes I have to wear (you know, appropriate ones), but this is a really good move career wise. I just hope I can do a good job :X

I haven't worked out in 2 weeks - I feel so gross and unattractive (although within those two weeks I probably ate 40% less than what I usually do). September will be different I sweaaaaaar!!!

Things with Greg and I have been steady. I thought they were improving, but he apparently still has his same doubts about me. We didn't really talk about it because it kind of crushed my soul and I had no words to express myself. My counselor gave me some homework about figuring out what I want/don't want in a relationship and it's proving to be more difficult than I thought it could be because I have no fucking clue. It's never something I've thought about or had the chance to figure out. We'll see what happens.
[Psych] Too Sexy

Oh shit, NKOTB is even sexier in their 40s

So what's new guys?

I went to the NKOTBSB concert with Leena and Michelle. OMG IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING. I have been a fan of New Kids on the Block since I was 3 years old (there's photographic proof), so seeing them in concert with them performing my most favorite songs was a twenty year old dream come true! And I'm amazed that my subconcious mind stored the lyrics to those songs. Who knew I still know all of the words to "Cover Girl?" NOT ME. But I do. Also, Donnie and Joey are SOOOOO good looking and muscular and tattoo'd and Joey wore cop boots. COP BOOTS GUYS. And Donnie and I grasped hands (the way that famous people grasp their fans) TWICE when they came out into the audience. Swoon.

Still haven't found a new job. Still applying for new jobs. At the moment, I'm less angry at the caffe than I had been so it's not horrendous that I'm still there. I still gotta find some volunteering stuff, but I always find it difficult to write those introductory e-mails about why I'm interested and what I hope to gain blah blah blah. I will do it though! I need to broaden my horizons and fill up my schedule.

My work outs are going halfassedly. I'm going to do better starting today. Also, YOGA IS PAINFUL. I also don't stretch my muscles very much.

I'm going to see a counselor tomorrow (wednesday). I'm hoping it'll give me some insight/direction/piece of mind about why I've been feeling so off and worthless. I know it just may be stereotypical 20-something-year-old directionless angst, but seeing a professional during my last quarter at UW was beneficial so I think it's a good idea to try again. OH SELF IMPROVEMENT.

I've been getting pretty nauseus and intensely headachey quite often over the last three days. It's kind of worrying. But I'm stubborn so I'm never gonna do anything about it until something REALLY bad happens.

I kind of want to take sewing lessons. My self-taughtness gets me by, but I'd really like to be able to use/make patterns and make stuff that doesn't necessarily LOOK homemade in quality (just that fact that it's made out of a Disney bedsheet). Any suggestions?

I also think I'm gonna do NaNoWriMo. Is that the right shorthand? I don't know/ it doesn't matter.

I need to go on a mother fucking trip somewhere.

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  • Current Music
    "Full Service" - NKOTB
[Disney] Today Sucks

Bawwwww

I've been in a super funk for the past week or so and I don't really know what to do about it :/

I've been working out - I've been losing pounds and losing inches.

I've been applying for jobs and even though so far nothing as worked out, I've been getting interviews so it's all I can hope for.

I've been seeing friends, not as much as I'd like to, but I get out at least once a week.

I've been finishing projects like drawing, knitting, getting through my stack of books.

I've been falling asleep and waking up to Greg every day.

Things are GOOD.

So why am I feeling so shitty??

Halp plz.
[ChipnDale] Work Sucks

FFFFFFFF

So it looks like I get 3 day weekends every. week. because I asked to work only 2 Sundays a month rather than every Sunday. So I got punished by having my hours cut by twice as much as I expected. Good thing the cafe is such a clusterfuck that there's almost always SOME WAY for me to pick up enough hours to make 30 a week. Plus tips are baller, so I'm not worried about money. I'm just mad because the scheduling is so vindictive. Oh well! It's nice to potentially be able to go somewhere during the weekend. Fridays are such a waste of a day off if no one else is free!


I've been feeling pretttty down about my weight lately. I had gotten back up to 200lbs which is terrible (I weighed 204 after Vegas, but had gotten down to 194 before I had moved). I've re-dedicated myself to working out/eating better and for the last week and a half it's worked out pretty well (I think). I don't know, I'm pretty disappointed with myself and not as happy looking in the mirror as I should be :( Cody and I said we'd lose 10 pounds each by the end of July. I think I can do it - 2 pounds already gone! If I can manage to get down (and MAINTAIN) between 170 and 180 by the end of the year, I'll be so happy.


Went to Kat's wedding! She looked gorgeous and her tablescapes (fuck you, Sandra Lee) were pretty and it was a really nice time. It made me feel a little emotional on the inside, but I am a girl so there's no stopping that.


I think my official occupation should be "nerd whisperer."

Speaking of occupations, I need to get serious about looking for jobs. When in the world did I get so freaking lazy?? I miss the never-ending slew of energy and dedication I had in college. I feel like a loser sometimes. I could be doing so much more.
[Misc] AA SHARKS

So, I haven't bought the internet for my apartment

So it's been pretty much forever :D.....?

APARTMENT
Move in was successful thanks to my Pa and Shane (and Greg being out of town so I had nothing else to do besides move). I posted pictures of my Apartment up on Facebook. I really like it - it's just MEGMEGMEG pretty much everywhere you look. I'm such a goof! I need more ocean themed stuff for the bathroom though. Maybe some giant shark stickers. That'd be rad. ANYWAY, the location is pretty convenient! It's a 20ish minute walk to Westlake area, a 15ish minute walk to Cap Hill, I'm on the same block as my gym, and it's super close to the I-5 entrances. Choice.


CON
Con was pretty baller. My assistant was amazing, I got to hang out with everyone, and our Star Wars panels were the best thing ever. People STANDING UP IN THE BACK at our under 18 panel?? AMAZING. Can't wait for next year. :D


WORK
So, after a few really bad days and a couple melt-downs about it, I've been seriously looking for other jobs. I think it'll take a while, though, because I'm not looking for any-ol'-job anymore. I'm looking for something that's long term and could potentially start me off on a career. Until then, though, I've asked to only work 2 Sundays a month, which I help will super alleviate my agony. My BFF Scott (he's a regular) is AMAZING, though, and we constantly bring in Star Wars toys for each other to play with :D


DOKIDOKI
Things with Greg are awesome. I'm finally feeling reasonably secure after we've had a few hiccups (and a couple violent coughing fits). So. You know. Yay. :)


EVERYTHING ELSE
Visited Abi and Cody in Oregon! It was my first time actually driving down since I had dated Ryan. It felt a little weird. BUT I had a great (fatty) time!

I'm gonna start over and try harder with a lot of stuff. May was a weird month, but I really need to make something of myself.
[Disney] Today Sucks

:|

I feel like I'm not allowed to make a mistake.


I got the apartment, I'm moving out next Friday! We'll see if I can actually handle living alone, haha. There may be a housewarming party, it depends on how much room I'll have in my studio after moving all my junk in. Prediction: NOT THAT MUCH ROOM. But a full sized kitchen. I can have a kitchen party. And a full sized bathroom. Bathroom/Kitchen party.
[ChipnDale] Work Sucks

If you work at a coffee shop, you shouldn't get manicures.

AKA, Brooke is so dumb, but at least I have minimal contact with her until next Saturday!

Con is so soon. I've given up my delusions of cosplay because, to be honest, there's nothing I've seen lately that I REALLY want to spend the effort and time making. Instead I'll just wear cute junk I already own and maybe whip up another Star Wars Dress! Yes, that would be awesome. Work for con is getting outta control. And by that I mean that the gaming department is full of jerks it's rough trying to delegate and evenly pass out prize points when I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH WILL BE IN MY PRIZE ROOM until like...the Thursday before con (at best). So, you know, great.

Stiiiiill looking for an apartment. What a terrible process!!

Last week went down to Portland to see Abi with Victoria! It was a super short trip and I got super nauseous the only night I was there, but it was still nice to spend time with the girls doing girl things and stay in a plush hotel. And by taking the train there and back I got to finish TWO books! Way to go on my "READ WAY MORE BOOKS" new year's resolution! No really, I want to finish at least 3 books a month.

Working out has been good to me. I looked a little slimmer all last week :D But then I got super grumpy sometimes during the weekend because I didn't work out. I need that endorphin rush! And also to lose 30 pounds by the end of the year. Doable? TOTES DOABLE.

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[Misc] AA SHARKS

I miss watching the Simpsons

I know it's just my cramping abdomen and once-a-month fragile girl emotions talking (I've seriously been mood swinging allllllll daaaaaaaaay), but I could really go for a pat on the head and a hug and a compliment right now.



Stiiiiiiiill waiting to hear from the apartment. NOW I'm really getting nervous :( I hate apartment hunting!! My Jedi patience is not so good!

This week's tips have been banging though :D ...which will mostly go to replacing my passenger side mirror! D'oh! Oh well! I get an extra day off on Monday which I HOPE I can use to start packing.

Headed to PDX for Friday/Saturday with Victoria because Abigail has the weekend off! I'm gonna try to sneak away for a little bit to hang out with FP and JB Meg and who ever else happens to be available! It's hard knowing two completely separate groups (Abi is a group by herself) in Portland! I'm taking the train (because I like to sleep while driving), so I better bring a couple books!

At the gym, I often find myself wearing my "CAKE IS AWESOME" t-shirt and listening to the most sugary Japanese pop and reading about serial killers/cults/zombies while doing cardio. It seems lulzy.
[Psych] Too Sexy

55 Degrees has become WARM.

Still waiting to hear back from the apartment! I'm not actually worried I'll get denied, I'm just getting antsy about the act of packing and moving!

CON IS IN A MONTH JESUS CHRIST.

I went for my first ride on the back of Greg's bike! It was a ton of fun and I'm glad there isn't a problem with our weight difference. The turns will take some getting used to (just because I worry that I'm not doing it right), but he said he's comfortable and not worried about it anymore. So yay!
Remember when I had my huuuuge embarrassment when I totes failed that motorcycle riding course? Well, last night we were hanging out with Greg's rider-friends, it seems like quite a few of them had some difficulties when they started riding like dropping the bike. That makes me more encouraged to try riding again. I'd rather have a private teacher though (like CoastGuardTodd) because I just learn better when not in front of a group. We'll see!! I do want my lemon yellow scooter someday...

My passport should be here within a month and the weather is getting nicer and I'm planning a trip to LA to visit my Shawn! Life is exciting and bright.




I want to make most days a good day and the rest be great days.
[Muppets] Busy Bee

Progress!

Okay, so, Pa came up with a TERRIBLE plan that I will follow through on because I'm stubborn and hate quitting.

In May I'll do the "Beat the Bridge" 8K (which I always hated when I worked at UW because it made getting on/off campus a total pain).

In September I'll do the "Iron Girl" 10k (or some other 10k race, but that's the only good one in Seattle).

In December I'll do the "12Ks of Christmas" in Kirkland that Victoria did last year.

HOLY SHIT, WHEN DID I BECOME A RUNNER?!



Currently waiting to hear back from an apartment! It's a studio that's on the very edge of downtown between Westlake and Capitol Hill. It meets my safety requirements and it's pretty cute, big for a studio (about 400square feet), and completely affordable INCLUDING parking! So, I hope I hear something soon because I'm gonna have to pack! Eek!