Okay, so fuck the scale that says I've only lost 4 pounds since Vegas.
Because I just ran 3.75ish miles (this 5K was actually just under 4 miles instead of being 3.1) in freaking 37 MINUTES and 49 SECONDS!!! MY PACE WAS FREAKING 9:58!!! 10 MINUTE MILES!!!
I have NEVER ran a 10 minute mile (that wasn't last week, for only one mile, on the treadmill). But in high school when we were forced to run all the time, the fastest I ever got to was just over 11 minutes, which was my goal this time. You guys. 10 minute mile. That was my goal for the YEAR and this is my first run out of at least 4!!
I'm really proud of myself!! Those awful hill/sprint routines I've been doing on the treadmill really paid off!
and I looked a little thinner yesterday :)
So in my usual fashion, I get down about something, keep adding shit on to it to make things worse, and then realize, quite suddenly, that I'm being RETARDED and I'm awesome and nothing that's going on is going to be the end of the world. Sure, stuff is going to happen that's upsetting and hurtful and frustrating and confusing, but, as everyone tells me, I'm just way too hard on myself when these things happen. These things are GOING to happen and I can't take it so personally and dramatically.
So I'm sorry, self, for temporarily forgetting you are awesome. You're smart, stubborn in the best ways, hard working, creative, lovely, thoughtful, adorable, sexy when you want to be, and overall a really worthwhile person. And I forget that too often.
I'm going to do my best to not forget it anymore. Or if I do, have it be brief and not ZOMG APOCALYPSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I'm excited that I'm rededicated to the gym.
I'm excited for con and my lovely friends there.
I'm excited for my lovely friends in general and making more of an effort to spend time with them and show how much I appreciate them and how much they do for me.
I'm excited that I'm slowly learning to open up to more people and have them know more about me than just like "LOLOLOLOLBUBBLESANDSUNSHINE :D :D :D" side and it's an extra bonus if they still like me.
I'm excited to eventually find a place to move out to and be more responsible and independent.
I'm excited to pick up my hobbies again after ignoring them for too long.
I'm excited I got my passport renewed and that I'll be able to go visit Brian, who has never let me forget that I'm a good person even when I'm feeling at my worst. <3
On the plus side, when I'm really depressed, I have no appetite.
SO WE WENT TO VEGAS TO SEE CHER AND IT WAS AMAZING. But horrifically expensive and fattening! I'm gonna be working hard to do damage control on both of those things, but it was great to spend time with my closest friends!
I'm having a life crisis where I feel like a complete and total loser because I'm a barista (and my friends all have real jobs) and I still live at home. So, I'm working on one of those things - moving out. We'll see how long it takes before I find something good, affordable, and in a location where it's not a pain in the ass to get to work.
My dad just told me that he'll miss me even more when I move out because he doesn't get to see me much now anyway... ;_;
Things with Greg are going swimmingly! We watched Empire in my tauntaun (which I left at his house while I was in Vegas and he let me know every time he was in it and playing the SNES that I gave him for his birthday) and he took a picture of it to brag to his older brother, haha. Tomorrow we're watching Jedi and we're both ridiculously excited! Umm... yeah we've gotten pretty close pretty fast, but there's still a lot to know about each other. He's pretty calm and collected which I think will help when I start freaking out about stupid things. And he's super supportive when I'm not feeling right. AND today he brought up Valentine's Day first (I wasn't even going to bring it up because I've never dated anyone during V-day so I have no expectations). We're gonna stay home and cook because 1) he's terrible at it and wants me to teach him, 2) every place will be busy, and 3) it'll be a super cute/fun activity! I'm really excited :) and I'm making a sickeningly adorable card. Mwahahahaha!
So, life, overall, is good. ..besides teh 10 pounds I gained in Vegas.
So uh. Greg and I. It's pretty fucking amazing. We've been on 4 (extremely long) dates in the past 12 days. We've admitted we're pretty much crazy about each other and his friends have accidentally let slip that he told everyone (family and coworkers included) about me after the first date. and YES I've hung out with some of his friends and we all got along super well. And he's dying to meet my friends. And he remembers stories about my friends. And and and...
Meg: I'm not going to bring my tauntaun sleeping bag over for when we watch Empire.
Greg: omg, that would be so perfect
Meg: ...just <3. I have no words.
Greg: Like, I would brag about that to my friends.
And, as Victoria (and Greg's brother, Kyle) pointed out, our names rhyme.
And we have plans for March and April.
I have no idea what's going on, but I sure hope it continues!
SO LAST WEDNESDAY I WENT ON A DATE.
His name is Greg. He works for Microsoft (BIIIIIIG SURPRISE THERE) with xbox. He is shorter than me.
BUT SKFJASLDJFASLHF HE IS SO ADORABLE. And super gentlemanly. But assertive. And LOVES that I go to anime con even though he doesn't like anime. And did I mention he's adorable?
After we had stayed up all night talking and watching stand up comedians, he walked me to my car at 6am IN THE RAIN when it was almost a mile away. And held my hand. And didn't make fun of me for using an umbrella.
He's been in Texas for a wedding since Thursday but he texts me everyday. And we've already planned two dates for this week.
This is the e-mail I got from him today.
Subject: Hey Cutie
Just thought I'd tell you that while you look adorable in all of your pictures, you are absolutely glowing in the last one :) [in reference to my facebook profile picture].
AND THEN I DIED A LITTLE BIT.
Tyler e-mailed me. Saying he read my twitter. Says I must be having a great life. Talking about how I'm going on dates again. Asking if we'll ever be friends.
wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. I don't think he knows how much he fucked me over at the end.
I'M GOING ON A VACATION (LIKE AN ADULT). OH GOD I'M SO EXCITE.
We're going to Vegas for Abi's birthday. It's gonna be so cheap and amazing and wonderful (we've been planning it out for the last hour).
2011 is continuing to kick my ass in the best ways.
I WORK SO MUCH, but hey, I figured it out, and my monthly income (including tips) is very comfortable (comfortable in the sense that I won't be broke - not comfortable in the sense that I have a real salary). Even when I move out and have to start being financially responsible. BTW: I'm moving out soon.
I'm gonna lose my goddamn weight. I'm so serious about it and I'm tired of feeling bad about myself. I know half of it is mental and the other half is that I need to stop eating so much. But really, I'm so tired of sometimes looking at myself and hating what I see. I should love it, because I'm awesome on the inside. Just gotta be more awesome on the outside. BUT GOD I LOVE FOOD.
I'm already tired of the wishy-washy uncertainty of "dating." Brock, Matthew, and I had this conversation last night - we're too hold and tired to have to chase after people and try to GET THEM to like us. I just wanna be like "HEY. DO YOU LIKE ME AS A 'GIRL'? COULD WE POSSIBLY MOVE INTO A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP?" I just wanna know. I just wanna know IF someone likes me and HOW someone likes me. I can never fucking tell.
Anyway, today consists of VEGAS TALK, GYM, DINNER, AND RONIN. Fuck yes I am awesome.
THE LAST TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN SO GOOD. I'm including the 30th and the 31st into my collective definition of "new year's" because that's when I had time off.
Anyway, on the 30th, I hung out with this guy, Shane. I'm hesitant to call it a date because I just went over to his house, we watched a shit ton of Clone Wars, he made dinner, and we stayed up til 5am talking (and then we slept for about 3 hours before I had to head home to get ready for Portland). But he is SUCH A COOL GUY. He loves Star Wars so much and he's full of crazy (but not horrifying) stories and he's a freaking gentleman (we slept in his bed for a bit and at most our knees touched. And here's the surprise: he's a happa!! He's half Thai (but he's still sooo white). Look! I'm expanding my horizons!
On New Year's Eve I went down to Portland for MEWcon. HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO FREAKING FUN. I don't even know what to say. We drank from 6 pm - 3 am and I didn't sober up until 10:30 this morning. I flirted with anyone I wanted (being single is pretty awesome) and just ran around having a great time with Lizzie and Bressler and Patrick and new friends. NEW FRIENDS, GUYS. It was pretty epic and I'm sad I had to come back today (Pa drove me down and I took the Amtrak back up), but next year I'm totally getting the weekend off. FOR ONCE OREGON DID NOT HURT ME.
It was a lovely train ride back up and now I'm gonna have dinner with my girls and my gays! Keep it up 2011!
So, I read the missed connections topic on craigslist because it makes me fucking lol. SOME ARE JUST SO WEIRD. And Tyler's asked me about it a couple times because he was worried that I was trying to find a new boyfriend.
SO I KNOW THIS IS FROM HIM.
"Have a good New Year's Sweets. - m4w (Shoreline)
I hope you have a good New Year's. I miss you talking to you, and telling
you about all the things I have found that I know you would like. I hope you find
the right one in 2011. You're amazing, and deserve it."